Everything is helping…

.. returning and opening to the softness of You.

Sweet souls ❤
When I was but a small child my heart was open. Soft. And open. Then I moved to a different city and felt like a total alien. It was as if I was on a different planet. My open heart was not received and my softness made fun off. I tried to be more callous. Hard.
But what really happened was that I hid. I hid my self and I hid my heart. For a long long long time I have now been trying to unravel and fully again BE all that I came here to be. It has been somewhat challenging. And I know some of you are also very soft hearted. Feeling overwhelmed amongst emotional outbursts of other people. I know in my heart there is a different way.. one that does not bring feelings of depression and lack of joy.
Of only wanting to leave. So I leave a window open in my heart and humbly ask for that which is able to bring awareness. And then I follow that small whispers of the heart…
And while ago my heart whispered and I felt a calling to go to a talk with this man from Canada. A philosopher of sorts. He has a way of Being that is so clear. And now as I was sitting scrolling youtube for more talks with him this clip just blew me away. I am still shivering. And my Heart is singing with joy and my being is breathing again.
I know there are a lot of teachings about. And a lot of clips that people spread and share. But for those who struggle with being their sweet inner softness and openness in this world I so highly recommend this clip ❤
And if you have never before come across John de Ruiter before he is Very Present.
Don´t be startled. Take a breath. Invite the energy. And Enjoy  – for you are Love ❤
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John de Ruiter – Realizing the Value of Your Own Evolution As Awareness

Audible friends…

As a mom of three kids my mommy-time is most often spent grocery shopping – to which I of course bring my phone with all my audiobooks. Today I want to share about a book that I often come back to. Like an old friend. I love the voice of the narrator and how he sounds so funny sometimes interpreting a Russian-American accent 🙂

This book is about:
Otto Ringling is an editor of cookbooks. He is living a comfortable life with kids and wife and is enjoying a good income and he thinks he is a really good citizen, not very religious but religious enough to not make a total mess of life. Until the day his parents are killed in an accident and the need to take care of their property is imminent. His sister sends her not yet beloved but dear friend from the inner of Russia somewhere to come along on the trip as she cannot herself go and so begins a roadtrip that we get to enjoy. The Rinpoche and Otto learn a lot from each other and in the midst of all of the everyday all American life the Rinpoche sprinkles some spritiuality over Otto, shedding new light on life as he knows it.

I highly recommend this book along with Lunch with Buddha and Dinner with Buddha. They are easily read and they can awaken within another depth of Being. If you read it or listen to it feel free to comment what you think of it.

 

breakfast

The sound of non-silence…

.. and how to use small practices to become more Mindful and present.

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Today I wanted to share something that really contributed to me during my training to become a certified Mindfulness Instructor.

In this hectic life we often seem to find ourselves where we get very annoyed when a sudden sound appears in our experience. We may be sitting thinking really hard about something that we wish to find the solution to and then a sudden sound of a barking dog or a parent yelling at their child  or just any sound the mind wishes to conclude about disrupts us on our thinking path. We can become really annoyed and frustrated and feelings of stress may emerge. I think we have all been there. Partly because it is a human trait from long ago when we had to be on the lookout for someone chasing us, a wild animal or an enemy. Only now we have applied that to anything that adds discomfort to us in our daily life.. on our path to more.

Now you might think perhaps that you can recognize in yourself this pattern, or maybe you have been exposed to so much stress in your experience that not even a sudden sound can wake you up from your coocoon of numbness. So what can we do then?

In practicing Mindfulness we practice the ability to be present with what is without judging it. Or what is also call choiceless or effortless awareness. The awareness is not based on what your identity or person decides that is but is only aware of that it is.
We are aware of what we feel, think and perceive but there is simply no fixing going on. There is nothing to achieve. Nowhere else to be. Nothing else to be. In that present moment we meet everything without judgment. We can also add curiousity to pass the contextuality of what we perceive.

Now imagine you are sitting in a café. You have planned this time of the day to have some alone-time. You wish to be with only yourself. So you order your Latte with extra chocolate  and cream perhaps and already you imagine how you are going to enjoy it in the silence of not having your partner or your kid or your friend distracting you from your peaceful alone-time.
You are so happy to find a table by the window with just that chair that you love so much. You feel like YAY it´s gonna happen!! I knew it! It´s gonna be so grand!
The waitress brings you your latte and you sit down in  the perfect chair wearing your perfect outfit that you like so much and you exhale feeling all the stress go.
But then it only takes a few minuites until you become aware of a couple behind you. You can´t see them as they are sitting behind your back but your mind immidiately starts to make up a story about who they are. They start with talking softly and kindly to each other and you easedrop. Not that you feel like you have to but you enjoy it. It´s like a song of love floating through the air building up your feelings and thoughts of how lovely life is for you. You smile a little bit. Until one of them starts to get a little bit annoyed with the other. You try to focus on your latte, and perhaps you pick up that favourite book you brought or your notepad trying to keep that feeling of ease and joy by adding something that makes you feel happy . Your body becomes at ease as the dopamine rush hits it. But you are feeling a bit uneasy and you  find yourself starting to judge the couple and you start to feel more and more annoyed and more and more like shit. Why did you sit here? Why not over there where you wouldn´t be able to hear them? Right. You decide that you are not going to let it disturb your peace. But.. you can´t really stop yourself from thinking and the sounds of those voices just makes you feel really upset and annoyed and mm a bit angry. Who are they to sit here in public almost yelling at each other when people actually come here to find peace??

Just by you reading this story might very well bring up a lot of thoughts, feelings and emotions in you and sensations in your body may be present. Is your heart racing? Are you recalling previous experiences of your own? Maybe not in a coffeshop but in your everyday life,  trying to get something done only to find youself totally knocked off the path due to disturbance.
There is a lot of different methods offered in Mindfulness practice but this text was about how we can handle sounds in a different way.
So ponder you sitting there in the midst of uncomfortable sound. Can you be aware of how your attention is actually looking for more sounds to judge? You are paying attention to the sense of sound. Your attention has moved from being vast in the feeling of happiness joy and ease and you almost forget other sensations that your body is offering you.
Now ponder that you instread of using that sensation of soundwaves to be something that you seek to becoming something that you invite. That you receive. And that you do not have to make something out of or judge. You are, like the Buddhists say, an open house in which doors and windows are open that allows everything to float through you. You in your being is the house and what flows through you are the sensations, the thoughts, the feelings and emotions that you experience. Now as you have read all these words I invite you to stop right here….

Take a few breaths
Allow the body to inhale and exhale in no particular manner.
Feel the air enter your body.. and leave quite effortlessly
Perhaps close your eyes if you feel comfortable with that, otherwise just find a spot to rest your eyes on.
Now put your attention to your hearing. What do you hear? Are you looking for sounds?
Are you attentively seeking sounds?
Now can you instead  invite them to just come to you?
Is there a difference between seeking sounds with your awareness or allowing them to come to you?
Can you now use your breath and rest in your breath for a little  bit. Feeling the flow of the breath. And still hear the sounds reaching you?
Take a minuite or two and just be with it. Feel the difference. Seeking.. Inviting.. Seeking.. Inviting. And notice how the mind judges this excercise after just a short while to telling you that you are done. You now know what it´s about. Can you upheave an energy of curiousity to the next moment?
Give yourself a minuite to breathe.. .in.. and out.. and then come back to your self and open  your eyes.
Lovely!

Practicing Mindfulness is to a great extent about being in the present moment by using small excercises just like this. First you practice in the little things in your life, and then when the big things comes your way causing great disturbance in your experience of who you are and believe you are – then you can use what you have learned and it becomes easier to find the place of Mindfulness within.

I hope this has contributed to your life 🙂
Stina

 

 

Not water-resistant or Don´t put your phone in water

Ok, highly embarrassing but I´ll share anyway. Human beings need other people to reflect into themselves, feel connected and feel a part of the bigger picture 🙂

Yesterday I was attending Mindfulnessinstructor training and feeing so THERE. Excercise after excersise exploring mindful living, doing/being everything really slowly and with awareness.

Then it happened. I had to pee. We were just about to get started after lunch and felt like I had to make it in time. I was in a hurry. As I was pulling my pants back up again ooops my phone fell out of my pocket and into the toilet. This was so not and Ooooops! moment. My interpretation of mindfull beingness, being in equinimity, totally flew out the window. This was one of those moments when in a milisecond I realised the consequences it may cause. A total what!!?!?!? moment when the body pumps up all adrenaine available and the mind goes F***!!?! and it dawned on me that every milisecond it stays in the water is  closer to the cliff of loosing EVERYTHING!

(Yeah I know. I am totally addicted to my phone)

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I cried. I was frustrated. Then I felt fear. Then I cried because I thougth I was such a looser to cry over a phone and then I cried when I realised all that might have been lost. And then I bashed myself for being all emotional when all I wanted in class was to look serene and happy and THERE. And my mind went bonkers. And I had to use all the tools to reclaim my awareness. Grand and gloriously timing don´t you think?

And just the other day as I was driving  I had been  listening to Chögyam Trungpas book on Spritiual Materialism and how this tibetan (?) munk/seeker had lost all his precious notes when another man had tipped their boat from pure jealousey and all the notes and papers with all the knowledge he had been taught by this enlightened man he had spent so much time and god on just floated away.

I can relate.

Only he later said that what he really had written down wasn´t really that important because what he knew to be true he knew. He didn´t need the notes to know what he knew. (I´m not there yet).

Practicing mindfulness has a lot to do with acceptance of what is. To stop, observe, accept and to then act or let go. One part of me knew that as I could not act right now I was better off resting into Trust. To let it have me. The acceptance of what I cannot change. The courrage to see it. And to be where I actually was. Phew right….  But during class flashes of what I had saved in my phone came and hit me like a smack in the face. I was now without a watch, I coudn´t call home, the phonebook…  calender…pictures of the kids OMG and all my precious notes for my coming book (of course) and all the profoundness I just HAD TO remember.

Ooops. Reality check. What´s in a phone. Your life or a tool?

I realised I felt like I had lost a vital part of my body like a limb. Walking wounded. Weird. I had to laugh at myself as I just explained to my classmates how last whilst listening to when John De Ruiter had conveyed how the Being is always ok and that if we are dependant on something we create separation. And here I was feeling like I had been left alone in a dark forrest at night with no flashlight. Well alright then. I did survive. I am surviving.

And as John de Ruiter said so eloquently in his special way how nothing is more important than staying in your Being, to not separate and create illusions.

And here I was training to be a Mindfulness instructor feelings o profound and proud to have practiced Buddhist meditation for 1.5 years and now this! Sheesh. What a wonderous ways life takes us… and luckily our teacher had just gifted us a story about her own vulnerability and how she was able to comfort herself by using Loving Kindness towards her experience. To acknowedge what feelings she was experincing and the thoughts that fired them up and then to have compassion with herself and to retrieve her energy and being present again. It´s really so nice when someone you kinda look up to shows you it´s ok to feel vulnerable and that there is a way out.

And the Bigger picture what is a phone to a full heart?